Sincere Conversations

DJ Play My Song (NO, LEAVE ME ALONE) (by schmoyoho) Yes. And...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 10:00:50 -0700

DJ Play My Song (NO, LEAVE ME ALONE) (by schmoyoho)

Yes. And more yes.

Ain’t It A Shame - Leadbelly

Fri, 03 May 2013 06:57:34 -0700

Ain’t It A Shame - Leadbelly

Hgthr, the Indignant

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:09:00 -0700

In a field, an army of men clad in armor and ready for battle. Their leader, large and bearded, is standing in front of them.

Bearded Leader (deep voice of authority): They think they can come into our lands. They think they can take what’s ours. We shall not let them. They may take our lives! They may rape our women! But we fight for—

Voice in the crowd: Whoa! Wait, what?

A woman steps out of the crowd. She too is dressed for battle.

Hgthr: Excuse me. Hi, yes. I’m Hgthr of the Western Tribes. What’s this you say about raping women? Could you just clarify that bit?

Bearded Leader: Hgthr of the West! Why do you speak?!

Hgthr: With all do respect, your speech was fantastic. I was with you the whole way. That part about growing up in the East with the rolling hills. So great! But you lost me at the rape our women part. If you could just explain that, perhaps I misunderstood.

BL: I was simply stating that there will be casualties of war, but that we should fight valiantly nonetheless.

Hgthr: Got that. But why put rape on the table? And why specifically rape our women? I mean I don’t condone rape as an institution, but if you were to introduce it as an across the board kinda thing, like (imitates Bearded Leader’s voice), “These assholes might rape us. All of us. With no differentiation of gender.” I’d be all in. But I feel like you introduced it a bit arbitrarily. I know the point is to get us all riled up for battle, but the fallout is that you introduced rape as an option, when frankly no one was thinking about it. And I just want to make sure that we’re all on the same page. Or maybe the message is that they will not rape anyone? I think we all can’t get behind an anti-rape policy. I’m not saying you’re pro-rape. It’s just, why even invite it to the party?

BL: I think it’s fair to say that we must protect the weaker sex and not ignore the fact that they may use our women to weaken our will.

Hgthr: Speaking as a woman warrior with all intention to fight amongst you all. I’m going to have to disagree. You see, you called women the weaker sex, but then you’re afraid that the victimization of women would weaken the men’s morale. Wouldn’t that make them the weaker sex? And by that fact it’s their weakness that puts women in danger?

Cut to the field smoldering, bodies of men bloodied and lifeless, the tribes of East and West have been lain to waste…. and not a single woman… nor man was raped.

This shit doesn’t happen at Target. Twerquette: Girl,...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 19:53:00 -0700

This shit doesn’t happen at Target.

Twerquette: Girl, Let’s go down to Wal-Mart! Imma turn that bitch out!!!

Common sense: No. No. Oh, for fuck’s sake. You never listen me anyway.

Suzy: Okay. Ready? Karen: Trust fall! Suzy: OMG! Karen,...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 17:51:00 -0700

Suzy: Okay. Ready?

Karen: Trust fall!

Suzy: OMG! Karen, you’s a dumb bitch.

*use the click-through link

I just want you inside me.

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 10:01:03 -0700

I just want you inside me.

sketchamagowza: fffinger

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 14:01:06 -0700

sketchamagowza:

fffinger

I.D.’s tagline should be “Suspect that everyone you...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:00:00 -0700

I.D.’s tagline should be “Suspect that everyone you love will brutally murder you.”

No truer words…

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 18:54:21 -0700

No truer words…

Honest Trailers - Skyfall (by screenjunkies)

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 18:21:13 -0700

Honest Trailers - Skyfall (by screenjunkies)

thesmithian: nba: Allen Iverson, former Philadelphia 76er, is...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:13:57 -0700

thesmithian:

nba:

Allen Iverson, former Philadelphia 76er, is introduced on court before the game between the Charlotte Bobcats and the Philadelphia 76ers at the Wells Fargo Center on March 30, 2013 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

(Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images)

[look of the hour]

I was there. Got a Iverson Bobblehead.

The Head and the Hair -one of the best episodes

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 18:05:26 -0700

The Head and the Hair -one of the best episodes

lickypickystickyme: The day was a big fuckery and ended with an...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:00:54 -0700

lickypickystickyme:

The day was a big fuckery and ended with an AC not working at my new place.

So after a day of not eating I decided to treat myself.
Only to find that my food was having a photo shoot.

All is great in hell.

It’s time to up the ante. Henceforth, those who wish to take pictures of their food must do so with professional photography equipment. Otherwise, I’m coming ‘round and smacking your iPhone into your plate, as I snidely say “Instagram this, bitch!”

“Hello, Huge Stack a’Cash! It’s me, Waka...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:01:01 -0700

“Hello, Huge Stack a’Cash! It’s me, Waka Flocka.”

#Some real thug shit.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:00:50 -0700

#Some real thug shit.

laughingsquid: Different Kinds of Families

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 10:00:45 -0700

laughingsquid:

Different Kinds of Families

Conversations with my Father

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 10:01:00 -0700

Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Sitting in my basement smoking a doobie.
Dad: Okay.
Me: Just kidding. I don't even have a connect out here.
Dad: All you'd have to do is go a couple of blocks in either direction and ask someone.
Me: Yes, of course. 'Excuse me, fine sir. Don't bother to remove your hand from your crotch. I can see you're holding your pants up. Just a quick question, do you know where I can get some (whispers) marijuana cigarettes?'

This dynamic only works, because he knows I'm joking.

Me. Last night. Except I stayed up for 2 hours interneting...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 18:54:53 -0700

Me. Last night. Except I stayed up for 2 hours interneting options.

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 10:00:38 -0700

Texting with Friends: Dimples.

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 10:00:37 -0800

Him: Dimples are your kryptonite
Me: Parcel tongue:Harry Potter and snakes: whatever subsonic beacon dimples emit:my vagina and dimples.
Him: LMFAO. I enjoy your math/HP speak.
Me: I'm weak! It's okay as long as when I'm signing over my nonexistent 401K, I stop for a sec and ask myself does he have dimples.